I’m feeling pretty crappy about myself right now; same old stuff. I’m feeling really guilty about all of the crap I’ve done, and I’m still having trouble forgiving myself. My wife has forgiven me, other people involved before she and I were together have too; why can’t I? I know I need to, and I don’t know why I can’t seem to do it. I’m trying. I feel like crying, but I’m not. I haven’t gotten much work done today, particularly this afternoon, and that’s kind of frustrating to me. I’m okay as far as being caught up on stuff, but there is just about always more that I can do. It’s not a big deal; I really am caught up. I’d just like to be ahead rather than just caught up.
Why can’t I just stay happy? Or, if not “happy,” then at least “not unhappy?” I really need to learn to get over myself and make myself feel better. I need to learn to not put so much stress on myself. I don’t have to be perfect; nobody expects me to be perfect but me. It’s when I’ve tried to be “perfect” that I’ve messed up in the past, and I really don’t want to do that. I just want to feel better all the time. Why won’t these stupid feelings go away?
Sometimes, I feel really good; other times it’s really frustrating.
Quitting Pornography 
I just found your blog through a yahoo search. I too have a battle with porn and flirting with women online. It has been at least 10 years but the last few have been the worse.
Just wanted to tell you to hang in there. It is tough for sure. I have tried to stop on several occasions only to fall back into it. You hang in there, day by day!
Heartbreak University helps women in hurting marriages. More than half the divorces today are due to online affairs, infidelity and porn sites. They’re starting an online class February 18th!! It is called – “Porn Proofing Your Marriage”. CHECK IT OUT at http://www.heartbreakuniversity.org
This might help. I know it is designed mainly to women but there may be tools in this class that could benefit both of you. Have her check it out!!
To appstate: Thanks for the kind words and the encouragement. I’m hanging in there and have felt better lately. I really need to write more often, as it is very therapeutic for me.
What sorts of things do you do to help yourself “hang in there?”